I secretly wish I was a lesbian sometimes -- because I have this great friend that's a lesbian -- and I've liked her since I've known her -- but I'm a guy, and she's a lesbian.

I once brought up the subject of her maybe -- MAYBE -- giving me a shot -- even though I'm certainly not her type. She thought it was a joke -- but it wasn't. There is no way that I can tell her that I liked her -- nor that the girl she likes doesn't write her -- I write her in the other girl's place.