I'm pretty sick and tired of living with my aunt. Of course that might be a precursor to her passing away.

It first happened with my mother. Before she had cancer and died we had our moments, well, I had my moments when I found myself just not wanting her around. And then the Universe granted me that. Her death was the most devastating thing I've had to endure in this life of mine. The other day my aunt told me that she isn�t hungry most days, and that food seems to be stuck in her throat when she does eat. Similar symptoms to those my mother had before she found out she had stomach cancer. But to my aunt I just said, �Well, go to the doctor and get yourself checked out.� It�s a perfectly reasonable statement. From the look on her face I think she wanted more than just me saying go see the doctor. But these days I�m to the point. There�s no use worrying about cancer unless the doctor says you have cancer. There�s really no use worrying about anything until you know what you�re worried about actually exists.

Can I just say this? Booze is awesome. It frees me. I read something that says that the drinker dies every night and is reborn the next morning. I think that doesn�t just apply to the drinkers. But... the drinkers really do die at night. Right now I�m dying and tomorrow I�ll be reborn. But it takes a special type of drinker to be reborn.

Back to my aunt... she comes into my room and a few moments later I walk out and find something else to do. I know she knows that I�m doing it on purpose. Today I was journaling and she came into my room. She sat down and I just ignored her and kept on typing as she just sat there. I�m sorry, but I needed to write something and she was intruding onto my alone time. My weekends are PRECIOUS to me. I have to be around people the entire week. The weekends I have to myself are more precious than gold now. So my aunt walking into my room and taking a seat is a HUGE intrusion into that solitude. She doesn�t get that. She just sees that I�m annoyed with her being in my room. So much so that I run out of my room until she leaves. I�m sorry aunt... but you�re going intruding into my space.