I finally told my Aunt that I'm not taking classes in my Graduate school program. She told me that it was because I didn't devote enough time to studies. Why does everyone assume that's the reason? Yes, I didn't have enough time to do my school work. I barely had one free day a week, and the last thing I wanted to do on my day off was study, but I did it anyways. Maybe the effort wasn't as good because of that. Maybe I was just fucking sick of the bullshit that grad school turned out to be. But perhaps, and no one ever makes this assumption. Maybe I DID try my best and it was just NOT good enough. What if THAT'S the reason I got two C's, a B and an A in two semesters.

The conversation just made me feel worse than I've been feeling for failing at this. Don't they GET IT? I feel like an utter failure, I don't need everyone telling me I'm one. I already feel it every day I'm at work. Every day someone mentions school.

Everything I do lately just turns to crap. I wonder why I bother. Then I remember, I bother because there's nothing else I can do.