I'm so lonely right now -- now spending time with Her is both a pleasure and not. It is because she's wonderful. But it's also not because I know that she doesn't like me that way. So I live with the fact that I love her but can never tell her, for fear that I'll lose her as a friend too. I can't do that, it's all I have.

She left her scent on my pillow tonight -- omg, i won't ever have what i want. The universe always wins.